Sunday, Jan. 02, 2005

break

I almost feel like I missed it. Christmas break zoomed right past me. I had a really nice week and a half off, spending time with family, catching up with friends. It was such a frenzy of activity and I'm usually not such a busy person. I'm busy in a much less hyper way in my normal life. It feels like the beginning of break was a long time ago, while in reality it was a short 10 days ago.

I have to admit, I'm not doing a great job of getting the year off to a great, or even good, start. I'm slightly (ok, really) depressed to be back where I am, I miss my boyfriend and my family already, and I'm not feeling well. I've been spontanesously bursting into tears and I just want to go to bed and sleep, sleep, sleep. The problem is that I'm not getting relaxing sleep, its more like, "Oh, please don't sleep through whatever I need to get through next"- fitful sleep. Sometimes its harder work to try to sleep than to just stay awake.

I feel so selfish for feeling sorry for myself when a family friend lost her husband and her unborn child in a tragic car accident this past weekend. I went to high school with both her and her husband. The history of death by car accident among people that went to my high school is way too long. My high school, while being so small, has had five times its share of tragedy.

It was like a slap across the face hearing the news while being at home thinking, "Life is so precious and I"m spending mine away from the people I love most. Why?"

So, my resolution is to take control this year, move closer to Jeff, and get through these next six months the best I can, taking joy in what I can.

>